Big fight...

I don't want to seem like I complain a lot about my family or anything, but I just had a shouting match for dessert and I need to get it off my chest. I want to start this by saying that I love my grandfather (the one I work for, PD), and I've been enjoying my time up here working with him.

During dinner this evening, we talked about delivering papers this week. I told him I could help him after work on Thursday afternoon and I could go with him all day on Friday. He then mentioned about having to go to one of the National Parks, which is on the route they gave me to do on weekends. I do my route over two days - which was their idea - so that I could visit with my family. I said something like, "Won't I be doing that on Sunday?" He was like, "Oh, okay." We go through this every month. He's done his routes his way for so long that he has a hard time remembering that I do that part of the route on my way to my parents.

After dinner, K (his wife), went out to feed her bottle calf. During that time, PD realized that if I'm delivering papers on Sunday then I won't be around to help him at his Cattlemen's deal. Which I completely spaced was this coming weekend, and he never asked me if I would help, he just assumed I would. We discussed it, and I told him it was simply a miscommunication between us, and I can tell my family I will see them next month when I deliver. He kept saying, "no, no". Anyway, the gist of this is that he was trying to guilt me into helping him.

Now, this Cattlemen's deal was something he took on against the wishes of K. She has flat out refused to help him, and has told him so for two months. Like I mentioned, he never actually asked me to help him. So, he tells me tonight that if I don't help him, he's screwed. Honestly, it's not my problem. But I didn't say that. So then he comes up with this screwball idea that I should drive down the mountain Saturday evening after work and come back on Sunday so that I don't miss work on the ranch on Monday.

I was kind of thrown for a loop in the anti-logic mobile. I pointed out that I would still be missing a day of ranch work if I was gone Saturday night. He then hollered that they wouldn't do much on Sunday because they'll be over at the fairgrounds for his deal. And that I'm missing days during the week because of my extra days at the Sticksville vet clinic. Yep, thrown for another loop in the anti-logic mobile.

Up to a point I was remaining pretty calm. I just didn't understand why he was suggesting such things because they really weren't making much sense. Around this time K came back in, and of course, was a wee bit confused as to why were fighting. She got the gist of it, and completely took my side. 

So there you have it, 3 adults shouting at each other. Well, it was more like two on one. I despise confrontations of all kinds. I kept trying to understand why he wanted me do go down the hill on Saturday and stay the night, yet not be upset that I'd miss a day on the ranch on Sunday when he'd be upset about me missing it on Monday. Honestly folks, feeding doesn't differ between the days, and the chores are all still the same. Suddenly he's all pissed that I take two days to do my route when it can take him one.

This is where I started to get really pissed off. First off, as I stated above, my route was given to me by them. They told me to do it two days, so that I could visit family. I stated as such to him this evening and he says that he hadn't be privy to that decision. Folks, he was sitting next to me at the dinner table when it was decided. I did not ask for my route, nor did I ask to take two days to do it. It was their decision. Notice I said "their", as in, it was a joint decision by both grandparents. Now, PD used to do that route in two days. Until his health got worse and he could no longer stay nights away from home. Then he altered his routes such so that he could do my route in one day (which is a 10 hour day if you do it in one day).

K hollered back at him that my route had been "the plan" for quite awhile, and that she's sorry if he forgot that he was a part of that (his memory isn't very good anymore). Then he shouts, "Then one or both of you need to help me!" K flat out told him that she had told him not to do this deal, that they didn't have time for it, and that she had been telling him for weeks that she refused to help out. And she threw in that he shouldn't have expected either one of us to help him. He then shouts, "Well, I just want to let you know that you both have really let me down!"

How the fuck have we let him down? K had been telling him she wouldn't help, and he hadn't forgotten that part. He somehow had it in his head that I had agreed to help him, and when I told him he hadn't asked me to do so, he then tried to guilt me into it - which, for the record, I did not appreciate. In his anger and/or forgetfulness, he throws out how angry he that I take two days to do my route and that I can just go down the mountain to visit family and he will do my route. Which makes no sense - if I'm going to be down there, why wouldn't I deliver papers as usual?

He then went to his office to sulk and be pissy. K walked me out to my car. She told me not to be upset, and that I will do my route as planned - that nothing has changed.

How can I not be upset? Above all else, I don't want to be a disappointment to my grandparents. I tried to remain calm and tried to understand why he wanted all these things changed and why he was suddenly upset about stuff. I felt like he criticizing me, that I can't do the route in one day, but he can. I didn't understand how missing Sunday ranch work was okay, but Monday wasn't - when the schedule and chores are all the same. I'm hoping all of this was just because he was angry over the whole thing about me not helping him at the deal. It's not my fault he didn't ask me or verify that I was to help him. I didn't even know when it was, let alone that I was helping.

I'm a bit concerned about tomorrow morning. It will be just me and him feeding while K is in Town. I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want this to become a wedge between us. I just don't understand where all his anger and disappointment came from.